7 secret signs of sex addiction
Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, Shane Warne and Michael Douglas have all been thought to have sex addiction, but most people don’t realise that 1 in 20 adults also suffer from this.
And what does sex addiction mean for the individual?
John* had a history of job loss and had failed numerous university courses. Like most sex addicts, he was in denial that he had a problem, despite spending up to 14 hours a day pursuing sexual activities, including internet pornography.
He slowly stopped seeing his friends, and was unable to maintain a relationship. Feeling alone and not knowing where to get help, he started having suicidal thoughts.
Sex addicts are often in denial, commonly blaming others for their behaviour. The secrecy and dishonesty inherent with any addiction corrodes significant relationships. The types of behaviour vary, but can include recurrent cheating, multiple sexual partners, and large amounts of time using porn or sexual fantasies.
Sexual addiction also is associated with risk-taking. A person with a sex addiction engages in various forms of sexual activity, often unconventional, despite the potential for negative or dangerous consequences. For example unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases or even jail.
In addition to damaging the addict's person’s relationships and interfering with their work and social life, a sexual addict also puts the person at risk for emotional and physical injury.
The diagnosis of sex addiction includes three out of the following symptoms:
- Tolerance, as defined by either of the following;
- a need for markedly increased amount or intensity of the sexual behaviour to achieve the desired effect
- markedly diminished effect with continued involvement in the sexual behaviour at the same level of intensity
- Experience of emotional withdrawal
- The amount of sexual behaviour is greater than intended
- A persistent desire to control their sexual behaviour
- A great deal of time is spent on activities necessary to prepare for the sexual behaviour; or to recover from its effects
- Important social, occupation or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of the sexual behaviour
- The sexual behaviour continues despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the behaviour.
Generally, a person with a sex addiction gains little satisfaction from the sexual activity and forms no emotional bond with his or her sex partners. In addition, the problem of sex addiction often leads to feelings of guilt and shame. A sex addict also feels a lack of control over the behavior, despite negative consequences (financial, health, social, and emotional).
Treatment options include 12 step recovery programs such as Sex Addicts Anonymous or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. An addiction specialist, sex addiction clinic or psychiatrists can also provide treatment. In some cases, medications such as antidepressants are also required.
*Name changed to protect privacy
